Every ending is just the start
by randomandawks
Summary: Cas decides he wants to fall and spends his last day as an angel with Dean, as well as the following morning.


Dean opened his eyes lazily and blinked a few times, the sheets felt so warm and soft it truly was a pity to have to leave he thought. Just as he tried going back to sleep he remembered _Today was the day_ and with a quick gasp he threw off the sheets and ran out of his room faster than a kid on Christmas morning. Cas was sitting in a wooden chair with his trench coat on and looked Dean up and down with a sort of smirk on his face.

Dean felt bad and asked "How long have you been here Cas?"

"Around an hour. Don't worry about it, I guess you could say I was a little anxious that's all"

The two looked at each other with a certain understanding and Dean said "Well, guess we shouldn't waste anymore time then. Oh, and I talked to Sammy last night about today. He said he wishes you luck, but that he feels your last day as an angel would be uh better spent with just you and me..."

Dean felt the blood rush to his face and he tried to avoid looking anywhere, but the angel. Even though their feelings by this point were pretty much known to _everyone_ Dean and Cas still had some problems talking about it face to face. Their relationship was full of trust and the bond shared was undeniably unbreakable; however at times it could also be described as helplessly and adorably awkward.

Castiel stood up and walked over to where Dean was with an amount of elegance. The latter couldn't help but wonder if the literal removal of the angel's grace would affect his more metaphorical one as well. Cas inhaled deeply while staring into those emerald eyes and inquired in his gravelly voice "If it was alright with you...I was thinking we could go to England" This caught Dean by surprise and Cas answered the question before it had the chance to part Dean's lips "I just know how you feel about flying so the chances of us travelling there without my abilities are greatly reduced. Plus, Balthazar mentioned he was quite fond of it" The idea albeit surprising was clearly well thought through and no reasonable arguments could be made against it. As soon as Dean changed out of his pajamas they left for London.

* * *

Their eyes opened simultaneously, after a bright flash of light, onto a small, narrow and deserted alley. The sun showed the way and left long shadows trailing behind them. It took Dean a moment, but then he made the realization.

"Cas, what time do you think it is?"

"I'd say about two o'clock"

"Two in the afternoon?!" Dean stopped walking and his palm brushed over his own face with a sort of exasperation as he closed his eyes so tightly wrinkles formed around his eyes. He tried to relax by taking a deep breath. This is what Cas wanted he assured himself.

Cas faced his body towards the other and tilted his head slowly with confusion "You seem...surprised?"

"Shut up. Let's just go. Wherever that _go_ might be"

"How about a pub? That might be more your speed?"

"Yeah, alright"

* * *

"Hello! You two can take a seat wherever you like"

They nodded in acknowledgment and decided on a booth by the window. Dean looked across the wooden table and saw a rare smile from Cas as he looked out. The sunlight made his eyes pop and accentuated his cheekbones. The image had Dean entranced, smiling too, and both of them were oblivious to the waitress standing at the table.

"So...do you guys need a few more minutes or-"

Dean turned his head slowly not wanting to miss a second of the moment "...Wh-what? Oh right, I'm so sorry uh I will take a cheeseburger with french fries and a pint of Guinness."

"I will have the same. Thank you"

She took both of the menus and as she walked away a faint and irritated "Americans" could be heard.

"Wonder what her problem is"

"Well, if i recall correctly she wanted to take your order and you were too busy staring at me to answer"

"BS"

"Then what exactly did take you so long to respond?"

"I was...thinking"

"...about?"

"About how once you're human we should do stuff like this more often" Dean felt his heartbeat quicken and pound in his chest and looked down at the table to realize he was holding Cas' hands. The angel could most assuredly feel Dean's pulse hasten, but in that moment he didn't care. "I would like that a lot" Just then the food came and broke apart their hands. The waitress glanced from the man to the angel, shaking her head, but couldn't help but smile either. "Let me know if you two need anything else, I can always make changes to the bill" and with that she was gone, leaving them alone once more.

They soaked up the flavors of one of their favorite meals in an enjoyable silence. The eating had slowed considerably and was reduced to the picking at the remaining fries when Dean tried to reach Castiel's hand. Not fully paying attention, instead of reaching for his hand he ended up knocking the pint unto Castiel's trench coat. Quickly he gasped grabbing napkins trying to fix his mistake "I am soo sorry man. Don't worry we'll get this all cleaned up in no time" Cas held his hand out to stop him. "It's fine. I was thinking about it, before you spilled the drink, and I don't really need it anyways. Especially if I'm going to be human. This jacket, these clothes, their Jimmy's, they were never mine. As an angel it's never been of import because we always try to be the same and follow orders. I guess if it's time to be my own person, then it's time to shed the coat too." Dean nodded in agreement and put his hands up as if to say he was holding back attempts to salvage it. Cas stood up and took it off revealing a dark suit underneath. The suit was Jimmy's too of course, but taking it off at the pub obviously wouldn't be appropriate. Dean stood up too since the meal was over and paid for, meaning it was time to leave the pub and the iconic trench coat behind.

* * *

The sky was pinkish, purple and full of vivid colors as the sun was setting. Dean and Cas sat on a bench together admiring the twilight. It was peaceful and serene with not a cloud in the sky despite the stereotypes associated with London weather. Most of all though they felt safe and warm and just glad to be there with each other. Dean's arm was wrapped around Cas' shoulders and Castiel had his head tucked under Dean's. Cas' head moved up and down with each breathe Dean took. Not much was said because not much needed to be spoken. They knew they had each other and that was enough. As the day drew to a close the mood had an almost nostalgic and final feeling in the air. Dean had to remind himself that each ending brought a new beginning and what he was experiencing was mere foreshadowing to the future. The stars then came out as if to remind them of the task at hand and their whole reason for being in London in the first place. They walked side by side with no real reason for walking that direction except for maybe that the cool breeze was pushing ever so slightly that way. Eventually, Castiel stopped and stood firm, looking at Dean while moving his hand to the other's shoulder as if to indicate "it's time".

The street was once again deserted as Castiel flew them back to States and used his wings for a final time. Dean swore he could hear them flap when they appeared next to the impala outside the bat cave. The air surrounding them had a slight chill as Castiel went over the specifics of what was about to happen for the hundredth time.

"I'm going to start taking out my grace with one hand and with the other I'm going to grab part of your soul. It will most likely be excruciatingly painful and I'm sorry it has to be this way. I truly mean that Dean. If at whatever point you decide you can't deal with it anymore say stop and I will. What you're doing here for me...words cannot express how forever in your debt I will be. The risks are great and ...Dean, I just really wanted to say _thank you _this gift is something more than I could ever ask from you"

Dean's eyes were starting to water despite his best efforts to appear strong for Cas. He hugged him tightly around the shoulders and whispered poignantly "No matter what happens to me, I know I would make this decision again in a heart beat" They remained embraced appreciating the moment for a final time. Then, without a word, each person stepped back, this was it. Castiel unbuckled his belt and Dean bit hard on the leather to distract from the forthcoming pain. Castiel's eyes burned a blinding white just as Dean's soul did in his hand. Dean turned his head and grit his teeth whilst leaning against the impala for support. In a flash it was over and only one light remained aglow, Castiel's grace in a small glass vial. Cautiously Dean turned his head back to look at Cas and found his former angel with tears streaming down his face. It was as if they were seeing each other for the first time in millennia. Dean exhaled with relief and embraced Cas again. He could feel his body shake with each sob and all the rush of emotions had Dean crying too. This time Cas whispered to Dean "We did it". A chuckle erupted from Dean and he said "We sure did buddy".

They went back to the bat cave and found Sam sleeping in his room so the congratulations could wait until the morning.

Dean rubbed his hand against the back of his neck and said "Well, since you're human now I guess you're gonna need some sleep. I don't know about you, but after all that I'm a little exhausted myself. I was thinking...if you want...you could stay in my room tonight until we figure out something else"

"Thank you, I am _exhausted_ as you put it. Some sleep probably couldn't hurt and if it isn't too much to ask maybe some pajamas as well?"

He smiled warmly "Yeah Cas, I think we can get you some pajamas"

* * *

Dean and Cas had slept in late that morning and as Dean woke up he realized Cas' arms were wrapped around his torso. He wanted Cas to get as much sleep as possible, but the clock said 12 which was probably more than enough. Slowly he broke free and stepped out of bed to leave for the main room. This morning Sam was sitting in the wooden chair that Castiel had previously occupied. Sam took a sip of his coffee and looked over at his older brother trying not to smile.

"Good morning sleepy head"

"Morning"

"I thought you'd be happier today, especially considering the events of last night. Or do you not like being the little spoon?"

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about Sammy, but it sounds ridiculous."

"Mhmm sure you don't Dean. You can be honest with me you know? I am your brother after all"

Just then Cas could be seen walking slowly towards them. He tried rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes, but to avail.

"Good morning Cas"

"Morning Sam"

"So? Do you like being human so far?"

"Yes. But I don't like being so tired"

"Yeah, well as long as you don't stay up all night that shouldn't be a problem. Then again with Dean around..."

"Woa-oh. I think that is enough advice, thank you. Sammy."

Dean went to grab a cup of fresh coffee to officially start the day, no matter how late it was. As he was in the kitchen he could still faintly hear Sam and Cas talking, without the knowledge that their conversation could be heard by Dean.

"You know I'm just joking around right Cas? Dean... I think he feels awkward talking about it with me, but I just want to let you know that I am completely ok with _whatever_ it is you guys have going on"

"I don't want to make you feel awkward either though"

"Trust me. You aren't. Between you and me I'm really happy you're here for him. Whenever you're around Dean's so much happier and I think it's about time someone is around here"

"He makes me very happy as well. Even as an angel I could see that, but especially now that I'm human it is even more clear. Emotions are hard to understand, but my relationship with Dean is...something I've never felt or had before"

Dean couldn't help but smile at their exchange. Yes, he thought, _a new beginning._


End file.
